Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Another reason I would prefer not to have salad for dinner

So I figured I would have a nice quiet night at home and eat a healthy salad for dinner. Here's how my well laid plans literally went up in flames around me this evening...

1. Make salad. Healthy leafy greens. Me: "Gee, this will be a nice healthy dinner. I should do this more often! Hmmm. Fresh croutons...gee that sounds great. Where is that loaf of bread anyway?"
2. Cut croutons from loaf of bread
3. Place croutons in toaster oven under broiler
4. Completely forget about croutons
5. Wander out of kitchen to sort mail
6. Remember croutons
7. Run like a crazy person across house towards kitchen
8. Enter smoke filled kitchen
9. *X&^%*!
10. Grab potholders
11. Throw back door open
12. Remove charred/flaming/smoking used to be croutons from toaster oven and place them outside to continue to smolder
13. Realize that smoke detector is about to go off
14. Close door so cats do not run away forever when smoke detector starts
15. Race towards hall closet for broom (cannot reach smoke detector)
16. Smoke detector goes off
17. Smoke detector then sets off the house alarm
18. Push button on smoke detector to stop screeching sound (i.e. slam broom end into smoke detector)
19. Jump off chair and run to alarm pad to turn off alarm
20. Phone is ringing (alarm company) so run back to kitchen to get phone and tell them all is ok
21. Miss call from alarm company because phone not on charger. Where is phone?!?
22. *X&^%*!
23. Run upstairs and find cell phone instead (pass two terrified cats on the way)
24. Call alarm company
25. Alarm lady: "Hello Ms. Wisbrun, we have dispatched the fire department to your residence."
26. Me: "Ummmm.... You can cancel that call. I just burned some croutons."
27. Alarm lady: "Pardon? So you do not require the fire department?"
28. Me: "No ma'am. So sorry for the trouble. All is well here. Thank you for your help."
29. No longer hungry. Stupid salad.
30. Head to kitchen. Where is the gin and tonic instead? I'll just have that for dinner and enjoy the burned toast smell that has permeated every room in my house.

Hope you are having a wonderful, crouton-less evening where you are! :)

22 comments:

SoozeM said...

Hahaha oh dear what an evening, after all that a liquid dinner definitely sounds the way to go! But thanks for the giggle, hopefully you are able to laugh about it too now!

Mary Grace McNamara said...

I think I'd head for the freezer and grab some ice cream instead. At least then I'd remember all the fun I had burning the croutons!

I'm sure the cats will forgive you....eventually!

MGM

Peg said...

Oh my. So much for healthy living. Cheers!

DianeY said...

Now that I have stopped laughing (hopefully with you, by now), may I suggest some store bought croutons. They aren't bad and they keep pretty well!

Angie said...

Laurie, Do not feel bad, that has been my entire week in a nut shell. I hope that it gets better with the start of a new day and some gin and tonic.

Joyce said...

oh no!! don't feel bad...http://creationsbyjellen.blogspot.com/2010/09/big-boxes-burnt-dinner.html

AllieKatMom said...

So not funny this happened but your #30 made me laugh!

Laurie Wisbrun | Scarlet Fig said...

Don't get me wrong everyone, I am still laughing at myself over this incident :)

And DianeY: I've added store bought croutons to my grocery list!!

Joyce: See! It's easy to do, huh?

Leila said...

oh no lol!
Gin-tonic is a healthy meal too as long as it has some lemon. Gotta have that vitamin C ;-)

mcregan said...

Thanks for the early morning laugh--I am glad to hear that this sort of thing happens to other people! I agree with the second choice of dinners, too!

Poet Whale Studio said...

Welcome to the Burned Toast Club! Glad you are all right.

Twirl a bath towel under the smoke alarm to create air movement that will disperse the smoke. If you can't find a bath towel quickly, then use anything, but the cat, that you can twirl like a bath towel. Works for me every time. :)

Sarah Craig said...

Gotta love that smoke detector - mine is currently beeping at me to remind me to change the battery - your story is making me consider whether to buy a new battery or not! Thanks for the early morning laugh!!

quiltsbagsgardens said...

Well, sounds familiar. Seriously, thanks for the chuckle. Also, the tuts.

Kathy

Sooz said...

Yes, it sounds all too familiar. I recommend the twirling towel trick, too. Although I'm not as graceful, and tend to just flap a dishtowel under the offending detector. Hey! You can design a special Tufted Tweets or Urban Circus designated smoke detector flapper "towel" that hangs on a hook right under the evil, whining, plastic disk!

Nicki Lundeen said...

Not only were you on the right track to a healthy dinner...you got your exercise as well!!!!! Too funny.

Helene said...

Love it Laurie! Beautifully done, with real panache and grace! ;-)

Barb said...

Great tutorial! Snort snort chuckle chuckle

MadeByMeaghan said...

haha. this is like a real life ben stiller movie! :)

Becky said...

*X&^%*! is my favorite word! Been where you were but could not have said it so well!!

Glad you and cats are okey dokey. But dang, why pass up a chance to meet all those gorgeous fire fighters?!

Emily said...

LOL!
thanks for making my morning!!!
i love this story - this would soooo happen to me.

mathea said...

Best tutorial ever! And after all that excercise you certainly deserved your liquid dinner ;-)

Mindy said...

Thanks for posting this! It served as a little pick-me-up for me because I'm in the midst of "sleep training" with my 8-month old. I felt your frustration for a moment, instead of my own. Strangely therapeutic, so thanks!